It all began when I moved to the UK. I was ‘Mummy’s little girl’ until I started secondary school and saw how other children behaved towards each other so I decided to do as they did in order to fit in. At first it was a way of fitting in but, as time went by, it became who I was.
I turned out to be a rebellious youth who brought a lot of trouble to my family. I was aggressive to my Mum; I shouted at her and did anything to oppose her, just to annoy her. I hoped that way she would see that I was in control. I did this because, in my reasoning, I felt that she never understood me and she never would, therefore, I had to set the rules my way for her to follow. I didn’t respect or fear my Mum in any way, nor listened to what she had to say to me. Many were the times that I held her by the wrist or pushed her out of the way to stop her from hitting me.
I stole from shops and other girls when I was with a group of friends. I also got into some fights at school.
Later on, I got involved in meaningless relationships with guys without having any feelings for them. From the age of 14/15, I went to parties without my Mum’s consent and, even when she found out what I did, I still went, not caring if she knew the truth or not. I partied almost every weekend, and summer time felt like my time to shine (that was when I used to go to Portugal just to party). I remember various occasions when I left my house to go out with friends to parties/clubs without my Mum’s permission. I didn’t care about the consequences of hurting her, because something bad might happen to me out there or, even if I was thrown out of the house.
I became a cold person with a tough exterior when, inside, I was sad, proud and full of resentment; I was a lost girl who looked for happiness in the wrong things. To be honest, I wanted to change but didn’t know how to, so I convinced myself that that was how my life was and I would never have a happy relationship with my Mum. It was my burden to carry.
Then, I was invited to the VYG – the best thing that ever happened to me. Hearing the messages gave me hope that there was a way out of it all. Not long afterwards, I was introduced to the Sunday, Wednesday and Friday services, which really helped me by giving me guidance and strength I very much needed to fight for my life. It was not easy and things did not change overnight. It took time and effort for me to change, through the support I received from other young people like myself. They understood what I was going through and knew exactly where I was coming from.
Today – rebellion, sadness, pride or resentment are no longer inside of me because I gave God a chance to work in me – His way. It was hard but definitely worth it. I am amazed at the changes in me, as I never thought I would attain the character, joy and calm mother-daughter relationship we have today.
I have a full time job and I’m a pleasant confident person. I’m really happy because I’m engaged and preparing myself to get married.